wood Wind

would Anybody like to hear a concerto What i hafe wrote to be compleatley perfoarmed by arseholes?? moar Impoartantly would anybody like to PERFORM a concerto what i Hafe wroate to be completeley performed by arseholes? if So please let Me know as i Hafe booked a large space in a airconditioned recoarding studio whear we can broadcast it live to the world!! well, it Is NOT so much of a airconditioned recoarding studio, moar like a public lavatory with a number of open windows, but – thanks to the miracles of the intronets steave and Me hafe convenienctly installed hidden cameras and micerophoanes what can pick up any activity outside or inside the cubicles and make it available via websites – like faecesbook or PooTube!

of Cors it is very impoartent that (if Hugh are thinking of applying) that Hugh hafe practiced at making yoar arse sound like a musical instument! thear Is no point in appling if hugh think yoar arse sounds like a beautiful high violin if it acterually sounds like a – o, i Doanet know – a elephant. hugh Nead two be self critical when it comes to yoar Own musical abillerties so please doanet try and kid yoarself that hugh are the next anal-sensation, like nigel Kennedy would hafe been if he had used his arse instead of a violin.

and PLEASE DO NOT be tempted to record a actual musical instrument, or sombody else (like a freand) whos arse sounds like a actual musical instrument becasue i Hafe done boath of thease things on many occassions and i Am therefoar able to spot this in the sound of yoar recording, or the brown stains in the pants of yoar freand.

i Do realise that NOT everbody is a professional at anal perfomances, so in order to encourage ammaters to get better i Shall recently in the future be posting some instructions on how to help yoar arse sound more like – say – a trumpet, or a french Hoarn. this Will include diet instroductions in how to Increase yoar arse-output WITHOUT affecting the aroma, and how to synchonise yoar emissions with other Budding backside-bandmembers!

but Sory i Can NOT talk to you about anal-emissions no moar becasue i Hafe got a part-time job with a local all-girl fart-band! they Advertised for sombody with his own toilet roll to help clean up between numbers!!

loaf From yoar old freand 14!

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